Transferring to Kinship

Last week, our precious boys left our home to go live with a relative. We had been planning to have them at least through the holidays. The week before last, we had been given advance notice that it would likely happen last week instead, and so were able to cry - a lot - when the boys weren't looking. This helped, because by the time the actual day came, we were able to remain calm and optimistic for them. They were actually excited and looking forward to reuniting with family, brining their bikes, toys, and bags full of memories with us.

I should mention that I absolutely support the boys going to live with extended family. I am happy that a family member would do so. I really, really hope that it works out in their new home. This hope and happiness exists at the same time as my sadness because I knew how much I would miss these sweethearts.

D. has loved being the big brother of 4 little boys. When I broke the news to him, he was especially heartbroken; as he was crying and crying, I asked him,

"Should we stop having foster kids, since it can be so hard when they first come and very hard when they leave?"

I had been feeling rather burnt out myself, very burnt out, mostly emotionally, but also physically. Through his tears, D. replied,

"Mom, we should keep doing it, because I want to be good, and it's the right thing to do." Then a voice whispered to me, If you don't do it, who else will?

This particular case was hard because, honestly, the caseworker didn't seem to care about the boys as people as much as a number. When she came to get them, there was no "Hi, do you remember me?" (since it had been several months since they had seen her!) or "How are you doing?" Nope. The first words out of her mouth were "Ready to leave?" It is hard to let go and trust such wonderful boys to a system that is, honestly, rather broken, with extremely exhausted and overworked workers. I can only pray, often, that the Lord will care for them, that their time spent with me can help them in life, and that they can remember how very loved, important, and wonderful they are.

I am so very grateful for the time we had with them, to celebrate with parties, to learn, grow, appreciate, and have so, so many enjoyable and memorable moments together.